無(wú)需內(nèi)疚 單身也是一種選擇
As Gretchen Weiners from Mean Girls would probably say: "Oh my god, you can't just ask people why they're single." The question is intrusive, personal, and, above all, none of your damn business. But for some reason, so many people feel the need to ask anyway, in which case, you can simply answer with: "I choose to be." I asked sexologist Dr. Nikki Goldstein, author of Single But Dating: A Field Guide to Dating in the Digital Age, what the best response to that question is, and she dished out those four words without skipping a beat.
正如《賤女孩》電影中的格雷琴·維娜可能會(huì)說(shuō):"我的天哪,你可不能直接問(wèn)別人為什么他們還是單身!"一樣,這個(gè)問(wèn)題具有侵犯性、是私人問(wèn)題,而且根本就不關(guān)你的事啊。但由于某些原因,很多人都覺(jué)得有必要問(wèn)為什么,在這種情況下,你可能會(huì)回道:"我就是想單身啊。"我咨詢了《保持單身但不拒絕約會(huì):數(shù)字時(shí)代約會(huì)的現(xiàn)場(chǎng)指南》(Single But Dating: A Field Guide to Dating in the Digital Age)一書的作者兼性學(xué)專家尼克·戈德斯坦醫(yī)生,向她詢問(wèn)該問(wèn)題的最佳回答,而她想都不想就說(shuō)了一句話。
Being single is a choice, plain and simple.
單身是種選擇,平淡而又簡(jiǎn)單。
In fact, you don't even need to give family, strangers, or any other priers the luxury of an explanation. "It's one of those offensive questions," Nikki said. "You don't even have to answer that if you don't want to; it's like saying, 'Why is the sky blue?'" As much as a woman's independence is now celebrated and admired, there's still some social stigma behind a single relationship status. Especially as a woman gets older, she can feel more pressure to settle down because god forbid you are 30 and want to work on yourself before taking on a marriage. Having a partner doesn't validate who you are, and those who take the time to focus on personal growth often make better partners and are also happier when they are ready to get involved in a relationship.
事實(shí)上,你根本就無(wú)需向家人、陌生人或任何其他的窺探者解釋理由。"這是個(gè)冒犯人的問(wèn)題,"尼克說(shuō)道。"如果你不想,你根本不需要回答這個(gè)問(wèn)題;這就好像在說(shuō),'為什么天是藍(lán)的?'"雖然現(xiàn)在很多人都慶祝并欣賞女性獨(dú)立,但單身仍會(huì)被人說(shuō)三道四。尤其是當(dāng)女人年紀(jì)越來(lái)越大時(shí),她們會(huì)承受越來(lái)越多的壓力:安頓下來(lái)。因?yàn)樯系郯。愣家呀?jīng)30歲了,你還想在結(jié)婚前一個(gè)人打拼奮斗嗎?擁有戀人并不能證明你是誰(shuí),而那些花時(shí)間自我成長(zhǎng)的人往往會(huì)是很棒的伴侶,一旦準(zhǔn)備好迎接感情,這些人也往往更開(kāi)心。
If someone refuses to take that succinct response for an answer, and if you feel inclined to share, Nikki suggests hitting them back with, "This is where I am in my life, and I'm actually really happy." If someone is so interested in your love life, they must care about you, right? And they can't have much to say further if they know that, most importantly, you're happy.
如果有人不信你簡(jiǎn)明扼要的答復(fù),如果你愿意分享的話,尼克建議你可以回?fù)暨@樣一句,"現(xiàn)在我的生活就是這樣,而且我真的很開(kāi)心。"如果有人對(duì)你的感情生活十分感興趣,那他們肯定是關(guān)心你的,對(duì)不?如果他們知道你很開(kāi)心的話,他們應(yīng)該不會(huì)再說(shuō)什么了吧!
As Gretchen Weiners from Mean Girls would probably say: "Oh my god, you can't just ask people why they're single." The question is intrusive, personal, and, above all, none of your damn business. But for some reason, so many people feel the need to ask anyway, in which case, you can simply answer with: "I choose to be." I asked sexologist Dr. Nikki Goldstein, author of Single But Dating: A Field Guide to Dating in the Digital Age, what the best response to that question is, and she dished out those four words without skipping a beat.
正如《賤女孩》電影中的格雷琴·維娜可能會(huì)說(shuō):"我的天哪,你可不能直接問(wèn)別人為什么他們還是單身!"一樣,這個(gè)問(wèn)題具有侵犯性、是私人問(wèn)題,而且根本就不關(guān)你的事啊。但由于某些原因,很多人都覺(jué)得有必要問(wèn)為什么,在這種情況下,你可能會(huì)回道:"我就是想單身啊。"我咨詢了《保持單身但不拒絕約會(huì):數(shù)字時(shí)代約會(huì)的現(xiàn)場(chǎng)指南》(Single But Dating: A Field Guide to Dating in the Digital Age)一書的作者兼性學(xué)專家尼克·戈德斯坦醫(yī)生,向她詢問(wèn)該問(wèn)題的最佳回答,而她想都不想就說(shuō)了一句話。
Being single is a choice, plain and simple.
單身是種選擇,平淡而又簡(jiǎn)單。
In fact, you don't even need to give family, strangers, or any other priers the luxury of an explanation. "It's one of those offensive questions," Nikki said. "You don't even have to answer that if you don't want to; it's like saying, 'Why is the sky blue?'" As much as a woman's independence is now celebrated and admired, there's still some social stigma behind a single relationship status. Especially as a woman gets older, she can feel more pressure to settle down because god forbid you are 30 and want to work on yourself before taking on a marriage. Having a partner doesn't validate who you are, and those who take the time to focus on personal growth often make better partners and are also happier when they are ready to get involved in a relationship.
事實(shí)上,你根本就無(wú)需向家人、陌生人或任何其他的窺探者解釋理由。"這是個(gè)冒犯人的問(wèn)題,"尼克說(shuō)道。"如果你不想,你根本不需要回答這個(gè)問(wèn)題;這就好像在說(shuō),'為什么天是藍(lán)的?'"雖然現(xiàn)在很多人都慶祝并欣賞女性獨(dú)立,但單身仍會(huì)被人說(shuō)三道四。尤其是當(dāng)女人年紀(jì)越來(lái)越大時(shí),她們會(huì)承受越來(lái)越多的壓力:安頓下來(lái)。因?yàn)樯系郯。愣家呀?jīng)30歲了,你還想在結(jié)婚前一個(gè)人打拼奮斗嗎?擁有戀人并不能證明你是誰(shuí),而那些花時(shí)間自我成長(zhǎng)的人往往會(huì)是很棒的伴侶,一旦準(zhǔn)備好迎接感情,這些人也往往更開(kāi)心。
If someone refuses to take that succinct response for an answer, and if you feel inclined to share, Nikki suggests hitting them back with, "This is where I am in my life, and I'm actually really happy." If someone is so interested in your love life, they must care about you, right? And they can't have much to say further if they know that, most importantly, you're happy.
如果有人不信你簡(jiǎn)明扼要的答復(fù),如果你愿意分享的話,尼克建議你可以回?fù)暨@樣一句,"現(xiàn)在我的生活就是這樣,而且我真的很開(kāi)心。"如果有人對(duì)你的感情生活十分感興趣,那他們肯定是關(guān)心你的,對(duì)不?如果他們知道你很開(kāi)心的話,他們應(yīng)該不會(huì)再說(shuō)什么了吧!